Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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