Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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