can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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