The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
