you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
