yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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