I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
