She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
