So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize