His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Be still, my beating vagina.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
