Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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