We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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