I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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