He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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