If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
