I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
