Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
no you cant smoke seaweed
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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