so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
