Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
