How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
