Can i not drive my cunt home
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize