just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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