well I can't set my house on fire every night
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
