this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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