For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm at about main and main street
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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