My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
