Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you told grandpa to call you daddy
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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