saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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