I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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