I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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