the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
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