Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
