I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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