i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
