my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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