She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
