Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Say something about gay babies.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
