Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
