Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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