We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
