We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
