If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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