so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
