i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
