I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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