She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
