so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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