alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
