I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
