he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
