guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
