I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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