I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
