Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
