This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
