Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
