YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
