So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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