She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
