My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Farmville is her only friend.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
